A Woman In A Man’s Loft

We took the ‘Man Loft’ by the horns this weekend.

There was only ever going to be one way to do this.

There is simply no time to be lily-livered.

I have surpassed my own expectations and have gone from a hoarder to a hurler (check out the arms below if you don’t believe me).

And oh how therapeutic this weekend been.

The whole house has been like a building site but my *soul is beautifully cleansed.

*Note to self – too much Shakespeare on a Friday night is not good for a loft review

So here I am on my tea break surveying the efforts of my project management.  If I’m going to do manual labour, tea is an essential.  Well actually, tea is essential full stop.

Notice I’m doing the unthinkable here and instead of showing a picture of my hot steaming Latte, I’m showing a picture of me steaming in the extra hot loft drinking my tea looking – well, Lofty.

Credit : Industrial Lighting courtesy of Iron Man

I always ask myself whether posts are going to hit the right note and be of interest before publishing.  Lofts are a bit of a dry subject and there is nothing special about mine but I’m guessing you have one too or have been on this same journey and I hope that you will humour me with this series.

(Or him!)

So upon realising he is about to lose some vital man space, Iron Man has entered into the spirit of cash in the attic and having realised he has got some pretty top retro gaming equipment, he is up and down the ladder quicker than you can shout ‘I’ll take it’.

And whilst he is caught up with the world trading markets, I am taking the opportunity to get some organisation going on in the space that he has called home for all these years.

I’m guessing there’s going to be some kind of mourning period for him as we say goodbye to the loft ladder for the last time but we are ready to catch him when he falls.

This loft is testament to the fact that I love a lever arch file.  My passion for a course is evident here.

And of course there were going to be ‘finds’.

This is the tankard presented to me when I moved on from my time in the Harrier Project Office at the Ministry of Defence.  Oh how I loved it there.  The tankard was a rite of passage presented to those that had successfully achieved membership of the Friday lunchtime drinking club.  In my early 20s, I joined the service men and women for a weekly tour of some of London’s finest public houses.  I wonder where they all are now.

And then there was the floristry business and my little van.  A real life lesson on how to go to Plan B when Plan A fails – and quickly.  Some wonderful support from family and friends for which I will always be grateful.  Lots of shoe leather, sweat and tears and recoveries from doors closing in the face.  And then success.

And the opportunity to provide flowers for some wonderful weddings, events and venues including The Queen’s House and London Zoo.  These are photos of photos so the quality is not great.

My little business which I started after quitting many years of work in the City.

I kept going through to my seventh month of pregnancy where size dicated that I was no longer able to climb into the mystery machine.

And then for a few months after The Kid arrived.

Talking of which, here she comes ……….

Look at all of that clear space!  I still cannot imagine it being a bedroom though.

And then some oldies and goodies.

A chocolate box belonging to my mother and father.  Used by my father for paperwork after the chocolates had been eaten.  He was a very organised man but also loved to keep things in case they came in handy.  There is a lesson here.

Really cute to see that they had written their names next to their favourites.  Nuts for dad and Aero and soft centres for mum.  That never changed.  With Coffee Cream and Turkish Delight being the poor relations, not much has changed there either.

And as was the East End way, the beautiful wedding china – saved for best.  22 carat gold.  One can only imagine how precious it must have been to receive these.  They are too good to be in the loft but then there is the fear of breakage.

I need to give some thought to where in the house they can be safely displayed.

So that is the first cut – still a way to go but we are on a roll now.

I have found it very easy to clear and chuck.  If things are important they stay and will be included in the fabric of the house.  Other essentials will go in the eaves.

And in lieu of a treat for The Kid for her school report, I gift her these beauties so that she may know how important it is to grasp the basics.  She will be expected to use them during the summer holidays in a logical manner, concurrent with a child of her age.

And, if she chooses to stand on them in order to reach the mirror to apply her lip gloss then she will do so will my full blessing.

Because, here within these books is a month of my life that I won’t get back.

No further education on this subject required – thank you very much.

There will now be a temporary interlude in loft updates until the big build commences.

Feel free to share your stories in my comments section.

And, once again, thank you for reading.

Nicky

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Scary Mary Shows Up

I refer to Scary Mary as the one that shows up when you are about to do something that is out of your comfort zone.

Sometimes she even brings her mates!

Scary Mary will often show herself when you are taking a step into the unknown or doing something that is a leap towards a goal that is for the greater good.

Often we play safe and keep on doing things the way we know.  We will continue on our journey in a way that is comfortable.  If we keep doing the things we are good at, then we don’t get found out by Scary Mary.

Conversely, this is generally the time when playing safe is a luxury we can ill afford.

Quite often we can find ourselves plunged into change that we hadn’t planned for.  And never one to miss an opportunity for a holiday, this will be when Scary Mary turns up with her suitcase.  She will bang on for hours and hours about ‘pitfalls’ and ‘shoulds’ until we want to jump into her suitcase and hide.

What can be really confusing though is when we really do want to make a leap. And then out of nowhere, we are suddenly overwhelmed with ‘what-ifs’.  I can only assume that ‘what if’ is a distant relative of Scary Mary that shows up when she is busy.

It is generally the case that the thing that terrifies us the most is the thing that ultimately pushes us on to something better.

I say this with confidence as I know that this is certainly the case for me.

The phone call we don’t want to make, the meeting we don’t want to go to or the event that we are about to attend – the one that scares the hell out of us.  I’m sure you can think of more examples.

A fear of failing, looking daft, supposing this happens, supposing no one is interested, I really shouldn’t be doing this, this is absurd and so it goes on.

Been there?

A fear of failure and success in equal measure.

At times like this and when we feel this way, it is very hard to imagine what might happen if we just allow ourselves to show up.

That we might actually get the gig or stumble upon a true gem.

I always work on the logic whenever I am about to do something ‘scary’ that whatever happens there will always be at least one benefit to having just ‘shown up’.

I used to be incredibly shy and a roomful of strangers would send me in to a tail spin.  And although I do still have a quiver in large groups (small groups are my preferred arrangement), I’ve got it covered now and will always truck up to events, often by myself.

I’m sure even the most confident of people have to give themselves a pep talk in the toilet sometimes.  I comfort myself with this fact.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m also a realist and there are times when the best advice would have been to stay home and wash my hair but these times are generally the exception rather than the rule.

One of the biggest examples for me of ‘showing up’ was being dragged along to a business networking event by a dear friend many years ago.

To say that I was terrified is an understatement.  It was one of those events where I was scared to shake hands with anyone for fear of sweaty palm syndrome whilst at the same time praying that no one would ask me about myself.   I  stayed terrified during the whole event despite having a great time.

And I went again and again.

That event was probably one of my defining moments.  I met people that day who I consider to be among my closest friends now and I have to say that the people and business owners I have met, and continue to meet through networking, have taught me more than I have ever learned anywhere else.

Equally, there is generally always humour around at times of a wobble.  This means you get to sit in the loo having a pep talk with yourself while giggling at the same time.  It is when we are trying to act normal that we find ourselves doing or saying the most random of things.

If you happen to find someone that also finds it funny, you’ve probably got yourself a friend for life.

I once went to an interview which involved climbing lots of narrow stairs. So narrow that I had to walk sideways.  A bit like a crab.   Naturally, I wore my ‘bestest’ high heels.  Just as naturally one came off and bonk, bonk, bonked down the stairs in slow motion past the interviewer.  This meant that I very unnaturally had to hop down the stairs in my suit to reclaim the shoe at the bottom of the stairs while trying to make a ‘normal’ conversation about it.  That was interesting.  I drew the line at making a Cinderella crack.

Sometimes you just know that you aren’t the person specified.

No amount of over-planning could have prevented that one.  There is always an element of fate in our day.

And I think sometimes it’s the over-planning that is part of the problem.

Because shoes will always be shoes and they are unpredictable.

Scary Mary is also unpredictable.

She comes and she goes.  She will rarely share any wisdom or advice.  She will be clean out of ideas and she will certainly never warn you against wearing stilettos.

And no matter how fearful I may be, I will always show up.

As the great saying goes, if you keep doing what you’re doing, you keep getting what you’re getting.

It is so easy to think of reasons why not but it is generally only the reasons why that are worth pursuing.

I know that I am not alone in this.

These are the types of conversations that people have with each other all the time.

In fact, my daughter expressed concern recently about attending an event.  I shared with her the fact that it is quite usual to be a little bit nervy when we are going somewhere new or with people we don’t know.  That grown ups feel like that sometimes too.

And I would be a bad mother if I didn’t warn her off the stilettos wouldn’t I!

So that’s me.  How about you?

Do you glide into new situations naturally and with ease or do you skid in with your shoes glued on and a comforter in your bag?

Nicky

PS No offence if your name is Mary by the way!