Hairy, Hairy Quite Contrary, How Does Your Garden Grow?


So the sun is out, the sky is a beautiful blue and we are promised two weeks of delicious sunshine.

We are going to be hotter than Ibiza they say.


We are soooooo ready for you.

Well, almost.

You see some of us have grown an entire extra layer of skin and hair to get us through the cold climate that we fondly know as the spring.

Our poor little bods having alternated between our entire winter wardrobe twice, are vowing never to come out again.

The sight of the blue skies spur us into over drive as we realise that Yeti is not the one we need this week.


So for some of us that means a quick trim of the lawn and borders.

What the eye doesn’t see and all that.

And unless you are a seasoned all year round maintenance type, it is likely that the sight of the blue skies will have you running for the nearest razor, wax pot, lawnmower and shears from your archives.

In short, it’s time to run for your lady garden.


And this is the great thing about living in the UK, you never quite know when it’s time.

Surge too early and you get your summer timings mucked up, surge too late and you are so going to be the one in the onesie at the BBQ on the hottest day of the year.

Don’t think we don’t know.

Let’s face it, we have all been that person haven’t we?

Trying to work out the timing of a wax over the summer months is a bit like scheduling a board meeting with participants from 12 different countries.

Because as we well know, once embarking on the rigid schedule of hair removal, we then have to think about when it’s going to grow back.

Wouldn’t do for it to clash with the Queen’s Garden Party after all would it!


So we may just have to factor in a quiet weekend of languishing in private where we pray for our leg lawns to grow just a quarter of an inch so that we can once more be relieved of it.

I have to say there can be advantages to hanging out with anyone 40+ at regrowth times.

I include myself in this category.

This is quite a strategic social move.

On the basis that they can’t read a menu without their own (or someone else’s) glasses, they are unlikely to see your delicate leg lawn cutely peeping out from your pedal pushers.

That is one of my top tips from my Beauty Bible and will ensure you never need miss an event again.


So I’m guessing we are going to fall into two halves here.

Some of us will be ripping off our skater skirts and winter sleeves to reveal our ever-ready bodies whilst others are flicking through the wardrobe for the lightweight trousers and sleeved tops.

Yes we do all have THAT outfit.

Oh how I hope that someone opens a hair removal salon called The Lady Gardener.  Maybe they already have.  It’s certainly there for the taking.  A franchise even or a chain of ‘garden’ centres.

And then there are the borders.  Otherwise known as hands and feet.


And like all good borders, they need a hint of colour.

Now, if we can just flick back to the Beauty Bible, I’m suspecting that if you are anything like me, there is definitely some ‘behind the scenes’ preparation needed.

No point planting flowers among last years foliage eh!

So having shaken off the winter socks and boots, you are highly likely going to have a little extra padding on your little tootsies.


To put it more delicately, if you could exfoliate your entire body with the heel of one foot, then you probably need to brace your little tootsies for the knife and a good grating.

And that is completely bloody normal in my Beauty Bible. 

So what are we waiting for – best foot forward.


IBIZA we are coming for you.

Have fun in the sun.

Nicky x








32 thoughts on “Hairy, Hairy Quite Contrary, How Does Your Garden Grow?

  1. LOL – Reading this I am reminded of my grandmother’s saying, passed down through the family – but not much use here in Australia.
    “Cast nae clour tae May is oot”
    Oh – did I mention that I am Scottish by birth 🙂
    We were not allowed to take vests off until the end of May – because the weather was still changeable.
    On the other hand, things might have changed in the UK – I have been out of the country since 1974 – or was it ’75. No matter, it is a long time.
    Loved your post – and hope you enjoy your summer!


    1. Ha – love it Susan. Will keep the vests at the ready. I imagine the summer here hasn’t particularly changed since you left. Hopefully we will get more than two weeks of the yellow stuff! Thank you for commenting.


  2. Ha!! This is all so true. Although I had laser hair removal last year so I am always good to go!! Just wish I was like a snake so I could lose the top layer of dry skin on the rest of my body!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha, this had me rolling!
    I live in the southeast of the states, so we’ve had hot weather for almost two months now, lol. I’ve definitely been reading about the crazy weather you’ve been having there, and I totally sympathize with you. In all honesty though, I’ve never had the guts to wax my lady garden though…I’ll only take razorblades to it. LOL #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m a dedicated razor girl here, although I do wonder if it’s worth trying a home waxing kit again soon, they must’ve improved since I was a teenager! x #KCACOLS


  5. Ha ha – this had me laughing! Love the title and the content! I hope we have plenty more sun even if it does mean extra jobs for us ladies 🙂 #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is a fab post, really enjoyed reading it. Oh the maintenance of being a women, especially in the summer months. I must confess to having had a ‘not summer ready’ panic when I saw the forcast for weekend! Thanks for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday xx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’ve always been caught out and as such, resort to a razor or the ladyshave! Also have to think about the fact that for some reason, despite having pale skin, blue eyes and hardly any eyebrows (perhaps my own fault that one!) I seem to be able to grow hair elsewhere in darkness and density to rival my husband – there is no gentle regrowth, it’s basically there or it’s not! I do have an epilator, and yet despite giving birth to a 2 week late baby with no pain relief, I still can’t use it until someone invents some anaesthetic numbing spray especially for the purpose of ripping hairs out of their folicles. I can dream…. #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s Sod’s law how the hair growth Sprouts isn’t it. Reminds me of the play-doh barbers, mine grows faster! You are brave with the epilator! That is like single hair torture. I love that you still have a lady shave. I remember having a Carmen one!


  8. You should have seen me the first hot day of the year. My legs actually looked like a yeti’s, I was in the bathroom for ages #KCACOLS


  9. Haha it took me a minute to figure you weren’t meaning the actual garden..then I was son decided to tell me I had bear legs this weekend. Shamed. Will endeavour to be ready for sun next month… breathes in and grabs a razor..#KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

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