It’s Just A Phase!

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The old adage ‘it’s just a phase’.

A popular anecdote used by parents far and wide.

If you like me, had a penny for every time we said that, together we would be rich.

Never has a phrase been more spot on.

Back when our daughter was a baby, life lurched from one phase to the next. Phases where we knew not of the outcome.

The only evidence of having survived one phase was having entered a new one.

When children are young phases come at us thick and fast don’t they.  Several phases can occur simultaneously.

Whereas you had always been a problem solver, the latest phase would side-swipe you from behind.

You would be rendered clueless whilst resorting to Google After Hours for the answer to your parental failings.

These phases certainly kept us on the hoof and playing catch up.

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Some would seem to go on forever.   Particularly long lasting phases for our household were having a ‘hitter’ and a ‘screamer’.

Hearing the words ‘excuse me is that your daughter over there?’ would make me want to shrink knowing that The Kid had probably delivered a right hander to some poor unsuspecting soul.  Hard to believe considering she wouldn’t say boo to a goose now.

I always experienced a sadistic feeling of joy when meeting another ‘phasing’ parent.  Particularly of the ‘The Hitter’.  Not that I would have wished it on anyone but it never does any harm to have a phase ally.

It is only as our children grow older that we experience a joyful phase in this phasing.  So joyful that we forget about it.

We’ve notched up almost 10 years of this parenting lark now, phases are a thing of the past.

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Instead of consistent side-swipes, phases now come out of the blue.  So out of the blue that they floor you.  It’s like the new parent thing all over again.

But we are supposed to know it all now – right?

Nope!

This is what is known as a phase shift in the parenting world.    You are entering into unknown phase territory where only the brave survive.

There are no words.

Iron Man and I found ourselves speechless the other day.  We looked at each other vacantly.  I’m sure he would have cried if I hadn’t been there.  I  know I would have legged it if he hadn’t been holding on to my ankles.

We utter the immortal words ‘do you think it’s just a phase?’

Having one child means that we have no prior experience – everything is a first.

I can only imagine how this would be if we had several children, different personalities  experiencing different phases at the same time.  We probably both would have legged it in this scenario!

What is true for all of us is that we could be running the country, a large multi-national or a household yet the effect is the same.

Together we are used to making decisions, managing people and dealing with difficult situations – perfect attributes for parenting dilemmas or so you would think.

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How can this be so?

We’re grown-ups?

We know that children don’t come with manuals so I’m taking a massive leap of faith in guessing that phases have a cut-off point.

It is reassuring that we don’t see adults with dummies or drinking out of a bottle with a teat so one assumes that there is an expiry date?

One thing we are clear about is that the tween and teenage years are tenderly sleeping and that we need to fasten out seatbelts in preparation.

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Everything that has gone before was just a walk in the park.

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How many pennies are in your parenting phase pot?

Are you rich yet?

Nicky x

 All photos are of my deliciously lovely and ever growing Kid.

A Bit Of Everything

30 thoughts on “It’s Just A Phase!

  1. Very well written and so on point. I find great consolation in the “its just a phase” because it means whatever we are going through right now with our kids, its going to pass and the only unknown factor is when it will end and if whats to come next is worse or easier. The fun and joys of parenting 🙂

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    1. Thank you very much. That’s a lovely compliment. You are right in that it does, of course, mean there is always an end in sight. So long as we remember to acknowledge that it is a phase!!!!! Thank you for commenting.

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    1. Thank you Nadia! Loads to look forward to for you. It took me a while to complete the post as I was going through all the pictures of my daughter to use in it. This equals a 9 year trip down Memory Lane – photos just get me every time. Thank you for commenting

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  2. How funny, I wrote a similar post about “Being a Phase”. I’ve had it said to me so many times and I think I’m guilty of saying it a few times too. But it’s true, these moments are all phases and whilst some of them are awful, they never last forever so we should cherish the good phases whilst we can. As you say, it all goes far too quickly. x #Abitofeverything

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  3. This is so true…It would seem that parenting is one long phase made up of tiny little phases! It doesn’t get easier when they older. This is such a well written post, thanks for sharing with #abitofeverything

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  4. Great post and really interesting for new parents – I wonder when a phase becomes a learned behaviour and how can you tell which is which? Clearly a total minefield! Got all this to look forward to when our little one arrives later this year #abitofeverything

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    1. Thank you and thank you for commenting. Ooh an interesting point you make about learned behaviour, that’s something I could talk about for hours!!! I won’t bore you. You have so much to look forward to, you must cherish every little moment.

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  5. A lovely post! Great for unsuspecting parents on what to look forward to! There is a 9 year age gap between my sister and I and she is in her mid teens Every time she has a bad attitude day I think to myself it’s just a phase, I swear I’ve been saying this since she was about eight years old haha! Xxx #Abitofeverything

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  6. As a FTM to a 20mo I hear that phrase a lot, and i say it to myself hoping it’ll make me feel better…it doesn’t!! Currently we’re waking me up in the night at least twice, only to be laid back down and he’s still asleep – why bother?! We’re also in a stubborn, pushing the boundaries when I ask him to come to me so I can change his nappy/put his shoes (or coat) on etc. What does kill us makes us stronger right?! 😉 #KCACOLS

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    1. I think that’s the thing when they are dinky. Trust me you will get to the end of each phase successfully and strong. I mean look at my husband he’s ‘Iron Man’ so it definitely makes you stronger. Stick with it lovely, you have all these mummies to support you that all are at different stages. 💪 thank you for commenting.

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  7. You’re so right. Everything is a phase. They grow and develop so quickly that before we know it they’ll have grown out of whatever phase they’re currently in. #KCACOLS

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  8. I use this phrase A LOT and actually use it as a tool to comfort myself – “don’t worry, it will be over soon, it’s only a phase” lol! Also a friend once said “Everything is a phase, even the good stuff” so I try to live by that and absorb the fleeting good moments (as well as curse the bad!) x #kcacols

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  9. OMG I agree with you!! I keep saying that phrase to myself all the time!! I’m always wishing for “that phase” to finish soon!! It is just very frustrating!! Life is just full of phases and we just have to learn how to live with it!! I can’t imagine how it would be to reach the teen ages!! My eldest daughter will be 6 in May and it has been a rollercoaster since the day she was born so I’m scare of those years to come. Good luck with that phase although I’m sure you will do great! Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I would love to see you again on Sunday! 🙂 x

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