My Situation Is Vacant

Wish me luck in my new job.

I didn’t apply for it.  Neither do I have the appropriate skillset.

This job doesn’t take into account anything that I have done before.

In fact, I’ve never been more unqualified for a job in my life.

This has to be the only job that you don’t have to apply for.

How jammy am I?!!!

Let me explain.


As of next week, I am leaving my current job in search of a new one.

I’m treating myself to a bit of time off too – bit of this, bit of that, bit of freelance work, bit of blog maintenance, get the house in order, big old sort out – you know the kind of thing.

I am also very excited about finding my next ‘ideal job’.

In advance of this, I noticed that the paperwork at home was resembling a Jenga tower and given my Jenga prowess, I decided to take a few pieces out.

This resulted in filling a few forms in, making a few grown-up appointments and having a few meetings.

I was so good at all of the above that they offered me the job!

Imagine that.

Simples.  Check me out!


My new job, according to the form filling ‘opinion makers’ is Housewife.

Now, before you congratulate me on my success, I urge you to spare me a thought because I’m actually quite worried.

I questioned the job offer on the basis that I’m not qualified to be a Housewife – was I obliged to take the position?

No choice apparently, homemaker perhaps, (lady of leisure was also touted) or unemployed.

I have to choose one.

What is expected of the ‘Housewife’ then?

I have been offered the job before when I was at home with my daughter as a baby but I wasn’t looking for work back then.  I was just getting by doing the best I could.

I know of others that have been given the job too.

It sounds like it involves commitment to someone.

I wonder if there will be a ‘do’?

This is not a feminist rant, it’s not my style and as for burning my bra – I don’t have enough bras to be so frivolous.

If it was Iron Man in the same position, I would be mortified if he was given the title of ‘House Husband’.  (The fact that he is in training as a Circus performer at the moment is beside the point).

So why am I worried?

Well for a start-off, I’m going on holiday during the first week of my new employment.pool-690034_640

Secondly, not only will I be working but I will also be looking for work.

Moonlighting and job hunting.  Not good for a new joiner that was on holiday the week she was due to start.

Also, I can’t work everyday because I’ve actually made plans.

Oh and there’s The Kid.

Who’s wife did you say I am?



That was it.

Who thought that job title up then?

Do I need to train?


Wait for it though!

The best bit.

No pay!


No bloody pay!

Only me.

What would you do? Would you take it?

Am I crazy to let this opportunity pass – the job I don’t want, the job that doesn’t pay.

It’s also just dawned on me that I’ve been doing this job all along anyway.

You probably have too but like me you’ve never given it a name.

My point here is that I actually want the job I described earlier.

That doesn’t pay either in the short term but that’s my prerogative.

There is no ‘category’ for this.

There are simply “No Vacancies”.

No box available to tick.  No delete ‘as appropriate’.

The Tick Box police have spoken and I have to be a Housewife.

I suppose I should get on as I’ve got a whole stack of things to do before I start this new job.

Did I mention I won’t be there for about the first month?

I would say hold the pay cheque but there isn’t one.

Just keep my seat warm then.pfirsischblute-746604_640

See you around April time.

Nicky x#





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23 thoughts on “My Situation Is Vacant

  1. Housewives are worth over £30k per year when it comes to filling out your life insurance policy applications……would love that level of pay!!! I HATE the title…..I think it’s awful. The person on the other end of the line, can tick whatever box they want, but I stick with “Gainfully Employed” when asked. Good luck with your new position. I’m sure you’ll do a grand job!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Now who would say no to to all that and with no pay! I don’t think I’d make a good housewife at all good luck in your new role #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The no pay part is a total bummer. Oh and don’t get me started on the comments like * so you’re just a housewife then* Aaack!
    But if I’m honest it has its perks as well. I’m sure you’ll soon discover them. Good luck I’m sure you’ll be amazing at it.xx #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  4. haha I took on the job of “housewife” on a part time basis, still no pay but there are plenty of benefits 🙂 playing games half the day with the kiddies is one of them :p thanks so much for linking up to #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No kiddies for me to play with unfortunately until after school so far. I have to say it’s nice to be able to reacquaint myself with the house and start doing things I want to do again. I’m a happy ‘housewife ‘ while it lasts. Thanks for commenting.


  5. I can say that it is a lot of work and indeed “no pay” but I ‘m happy with it as I’m able to enjoy the little ones more. Also I’m trying to get some paid work too aside so it is not a bit of a downer any more! ;- Your holidays sound very exciting! Where are you going? I normally travel to Peru in April but I won’t do this year which is upsetting as I love being in the sun when here is cold and miserable. Fingers crossed we could this for Xmas. Good luck with your new adventure Nicky!! Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I would love to see you again on Sunday! 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Slightly different for me as my daughter is older but I have loved the flexibility of part time work as I still feel present while working in a fulfilling role. This is my goal for the next job but I am looking forward to a break. So much I want to do. Gran Canaria is the destination. It’s an endings and beginnings holiday which we very much need. I would love you to share more about Peru. How do you fancy doing an interview for me? I’ve loads of questions I would love to ask you. Thanks for hosting #KCACOLS


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