Missing With Your Kissing?

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Christmas and New Year are fab times for a smooch up
aren’t they.

No wonder Mistletoe was invented.  What a jolly good idea that was.

I’d say it was about time someone invented something for when the kiss goes wrong too.

Are you with me?

Because as well as being the time of the smooch, do you, like me, also find that it’s the season of the awkward kiss?

In case you are wondering what I mean, there are different types of kiss in the awkward category.lips-621210_640

The Going the Wrong Way Under Pressure Kiss

This generally happens when meeting someone for the first time or when being polite.  It’s not a ‘know someone well’ kind of kiss.

As you dive in for your greeting so do they.  You are both going the same way.  Whatever happens in this situation, you are going to get the nose or the ear unless you can manage to correct your alignment pretty sharp.

You are never going to know in advance if they are a one, two or three cheek kisser.  If it’s the latter, you are definitely going to get a nostril at some point.  Either that or you’ll have started walking away while they are still finishing the kiss.

The awkward ‘whoopsy’ giggle that accompanies such encounters will out.love-1013708_640

The Going the Wrong Way Habitually Kiss

The most embarrassing one is when it’s always the same person. Literally! Usually someone you don’t know that well or their partner. You both know it’s happened before and it doesn’t matter how many times you try and correct your way in, you just know it’s going to be a collision.

Based on previous experience you try to go the opposite way but so do they.  It’s always going to result in kissing their ear.

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The Not Meant to be Intimate Kiss

This can happen to anyone.  Male or Female.  Generally with the opposite sex.  It’s worse than ear and nostril and it tends to only happen with people you know quite well.  Somehow you end up kissing their neck.

I have done it twice in this lifetime to be precise.

I will never forget how desperately embarrassing it was.  Do you say whoops sorry I kissed your neck or say nothing and risk them thinking you are coming on to them?

Saying nothing will generally store trouble for the next time but where do you go with the neck conversation.  ‘Nice neck’?

When Your Partner Does The Not Meaning to be Intimate Kiss

It’s better this way round.  Yes my partner has done it.  Yes it was one of my friends.  Did I howl.  Yes I did.  It’s hilarious when you seen someone else do it.

The Grapple

The one where you have a little chat about it mid-launch.  A few ‘whoopsys’ and ‘he-he’s’.  Unfortunately this one tends to yield the worst results.   It is generally woman to woman, friend to friend.  Typical bloody woman thing I suppose – talking about it first.  It is by far the biggest culprit for the full on kiss on the lips.

So what is your success rate?

Do you have any tips?

I asked Iron Man how he would do things and his strategy is to go with the one kiss and then try and cover it up if it turns out they are a two cheeker!

I think my general preference is one kiss and a hug.  It can cause all kinds of problems though.  Particularly if they are still trying to kiss while you hug.  This is likely to result in you squashing their head.

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Of course,  the parents among us have so much experience in the greeting and departure kisses that we feel that our children need to get involved.

We are totally guilty of this.  Totally.

Never mind that we remember the fear of kissing certain people when we were their age.

There was always a family member that did a particularly wet kiss that made you scrunch your little body and run off wiping it with your Crimplene sleeve.

Lovely people and all that, just a bit sloshy in the kissing department.

Like all good parents we want them to go through it too.

It’s not really a level playing field either is it now – because everyone has beards nowadays.  It’s not just the Aunts.

Couple this with their knowledge of Roald  Dahl’s, Mr & Mrs Twit and it’s not just last Tuesday’s Coco Pop that’s going to end up on their cheek.

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Does any of this sound familiar?

I would love to hear your success stories.

I’d really love to hear your embarrassing ones even more!

Air kiss. Hug.

Nicky x

 

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50 thoughts on “Missing With Your Kissing?

      1. Over here in Malaysia, public display of affection is actually an offense! We generally greet people with a handshake. With Malays who are largely Muslims, it’s a salam – a touching of palms. Both hands are extended to sandwich the recipient’s right hand. With people who are dear to me, I hug! Well, that’s what I do.

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      2. Wow! Thank you for sharing this Veronica. This is one of the great things about blogging. I’m really interested in what you have explained about the Salam. In fact, I’ve got more questions so I’m going to do a bit more research. Thank you and I’m glad to hear the hug is universal. Nicky

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      3. Veronica, every morning this week I have read a blog that has made my heart sing. Today, it is this one that you have very kindly shared. I’ve really enjoyed our exchange and have appreciated learning more about your culture. Your description of your parents resonates. As you know, historically, the Brits weren’t always so free and easy with their affection. The stiff upper lip has prevailed and still does. I shall finish here as you have prompted a further question in my mind. I would also love to share your post. Thank you. Thank you! Nicky

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  1. Love this one Nicky. It’s so awkward – it feels like the way we greet people has evolved over the years. When I meet someone for the first time I’d rather shake their hand but then you sometimes notice at the last minute as you stretch out your hand that they are already moving in for a kiss – then you get a strange old situation of squashed hand shake, half kiss thing going on.
    I never make the kids give anyone a kiss if they feel uncomfortable a hug or a handshake does the job!

    For the record – I think one kiss is enough! 😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It sure has Sam. Keep it simple I say (and you too I am detecting). I have also done the half handshake, half kiss thing. It’s never going to work under pressure is it?! Thank you for commenting. One kiss it is! Nicky X

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  2. What a fun read!! The missing & kissing the ear is the worst & so embarrassing lol Some people it just seems to be an awkward kiss hello / goodbye with. Hard to know which way to go or if you should hug as well. Ugh! So tough & others it goes so easily with. And I remember those overly wet kisses as a kid – yuck! lol #KCACOLS x

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  3. As an American who travels to Europe a couple times a year…the whole kissing to greet someone thing really throws me off. I cannot get the hang of it and it seems so awkward to me. Are there generally accepted rules for the greeting kiss? I know different countries do different number of kisses, but is there a “go right” rule or something to help make things a little less awkward for us Americans who are trying to play the part?

    #anythinggoes

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    1. I can see why it throws you off. You are absolutely right in asking if there is a rule. I have to say I don’t know what it is or if there is a general rule of thumb. Maybe someone can enlighten us on here? All I know is that I am with you on the awkward! Thanks for commenting. Nicky

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  4. Hahaha. I am definitely I one cheek person, I freak out if someone goes for 2..especially if we’ve only just met. The neck kissing sounds awful..think I would die if I accidentally did that!xx #TwinklyTuesday

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    1. I think one keeps it simple doesn’t it Wendy. I find it’s two more so with the new ‘meets’ these days. I definitely don’t recommend the neck. I’m glad I’ve shared this in the blog, I was thinking it was just me that messed up. Thanks for commenting. Nicky x

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  5. Ha Ha – social kissing is clearly a minefield. I’m a double kiss girl with friends, especially those I’ve not seen for a while, it can take a bit of coordination though especially if they’re not expecting the second one 🙂 #abitofeverything

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  6. I loved reading this post. I usually go for two social kisses starting with the left cheek, but managed to get this horribly wrong recently when my old boss went in for a hug after the first kiss and ended up with lipstick on his collar.

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  7. I love this post Nicky!! I experience this all the time. As you know I’m from Peru and we are much more affectionate over there than here so we normally kissed and hug always. I have met so many people that will give you their hand straight away and you ended up straight to their noises!! lol I have had lots of awkward moments!! lol Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I would love to see you again on Sunday! 🙂 x

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  8. Im getting better at the kissing thing, although my family were never that huggy/kissy so I use to find it quite awkward. I have managed to touch lips a few times accidentaly with the going the wrong way kisses, thst is the ultimate in awkward greetings. Thanks for linking up, Tracey xx #abitofeverything

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  9. I always get thrown when someone goes in for a 2 cheek kiss. I find the in laws are be hardest to hug/kiss – I never know whether to go in for full on squeeze and kiss on the cheek or not! Great post. Thank for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

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  10. This is such a good read, and so true as well!
    When I meet good friends, we generally greet each other with a hug and one kiss on the cheek, so I am fine with that as I know how it’s going to go down before it happens, but I always get anxious when I know an awkward kiss and hug is coming from someone you don’t know that well! I’ve done the embarrassing kissing the ear and neck by accident (so awkward!), and once, on greeting my boyfriend’s friends for the first time, I accidentally groped one of his friend’s breasts as I was going in for the awkward hug – it was only the second time I’d met her! She didn’t say anything but I cringed for hours afterwards…! x

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    1. I just realised I contradicted my self at the end of my comment there, I meant to say when I was meeting my boyfriend’s friends for the first *few* times, i.e. we were not at the stage where we were close enough to feel comfortable with awkward accidental gropes!

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    2. Thank you and thanks for commenting. Sorry but I’m laughing. What is it that makes us so awkward – it’s the not saying anything that is the worst of all isn’t it and oh the cringing. Oh how I’ve cringed too! Nicky

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  11. The only time i think Ive ,messed up a kiss is when on a night out in my younger days, I went to give my male friend a kiss goodbye and ended up in full blown snogsville. It wasn’t until I saw him on the monday back at work that I remembered… Then came the embarrassment as I suddenly shouted omg did i kiss you the other night?!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. What a great post, it got me thinking about my kissing haha!! I hate the awkward kissing when you go in to kiss the cheek and they kind of do the same and you end up almost snogging, awkward. Thanks for linking up 🙂 #bestandworst

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