No Bag Thanks, I’ll Just Wear It. The Sequel.

I saw it coming of course.

I even warned of it in the blog back in July.

It was on my mind for a long time before that and interestingly my post on Carrier Bag Etiquette has been the most commented on since I started.

I would like to say that I have fully embraced the whole new way of shopping since this post.

Iron Man saw it coming too.  Not only did he see it coming but this happened while we were on holiday.

He’s never shown any signs before now but I guess this latest bout of carrier bag shenanigans is going to bring out the Roy Cropper in all of our men.  First the man bag and now this.  Although I have to say that Iron Man skipped the man bag stage and went straight to this hot trend on holiday.  He has always been slightly ahead of the fashion game and is now able to carry off the look to perfection.

Aside from this small concern, I have many others regarding the whole 5p bag charging scenario.

Firstly, my concerns lie fairly and squarely with the Cashiers and the Security Guards.

It is clear that these people are going to become the ‘front line’ in terms of delivering the message and the policing of it.  I pity them because there are a lot of rules and exemptions surrounding this new system.  Ambiguity is going to be a problem.

There are rules of course.  Things that qualify for a bag – things that don’t.  It would seem that there are rules about what you can put in and things that you can’t.  In fact there is a whole website page on the subject.

Free bags will still be provided for consumers buying uncooked meat, poultry or fish, prescription medicine, certain fresh produce such as flowers or potatoes and unwrapped ready-to-eat food such as chips.  Goldfish.  Seeds.

Irony (no bag intended).

Pity the poor Cashier who has to dig you out when you try to put your spaghetti in with your gladioli in the free flower bag.  It makes sense.  It fits – right?  Same shape bag and all that.

Nope – not allowed.  Mixing is unacceptable apparently .

For this one it would seem that you have to walk away with it in your hand – a bit like you’ve pinched it.  Then put it in your bag when you get outside.

This is where I feel for the Security Guard.

Under the old rules, for those that wanted to have a good old ‘thieve up’, hiding the item was safest – under your coat or snuck in your bag.  Now it would seem that just walking out with it in your hand will be just fine.  No smoke and mirrors required.  Not only that but you may also get a little cheer for not using a bag.

So it’s a win-win if you are a shoplifter.

Not so for the Security Guard who will quite simply not know whether he is coming or going.  Although ‘going’ would seem the more favourable word as produce passes his eyes Generation Game style.

It’s not just the supermarkets.  Maybe you got caught on the hop when buying clothes like I did last week?

Two pairs of leggings in Next – £9.05.

I felt for the Cashier as she sheepishlessly asked if I would like to buy a bag.   No doubt this poor girl, amongst others, has probably had to attend a training course on this very subject.

Then again I don’t suppose the IT Department or the Accountants are having a party either.

As always there is a solution to the clothing bags.  Wear them.  I see a whole new side to ‘layering’.

‘Would you like a bag for your suit Sir?’

‘No thanks, I’ll just pinch wear it’.

You may then strut out of the shop like Mr Benn – doing jazz hands at the same time.  Because you can.   Jazz hands I mean!!!!  In a suit!!!!

I can see the changing rooms.  It scares me.

‘Can I search your bag Madam’? will be replaced with ‘Show us your Bra’

By far my biggest fear though is who is going to get my name in the Christmas draw this year.  Supposing it’s the tight one.  The thought of my lovely present ending up in the same bag as their bit of cod is really worrying me.

I just don’t think I can chance it so this year so I’m going to play safe and just say ‘Jo Malone’.   That should keep things simple.

So lots of money has been thrown at this to make it a success.  We all want the same thing for our environment.

Iron Man and I disagree on the facts but ultimately there should be less bags.  I hope so.

Personally if I were making the rules, I would have thought it sensible to do away with the bloody bags – isn’t that the general idea – if they are not there you can’t use them.  Bags for Life only or your own.

I see a can of worms (without a bag).

What do you think? Will it just become part of our daily life or will it cause more trouble than just doing away with them altogether?