SPF on the Beach

There probably isn’t a person in the world that enjoys applying sun cream. There are probably even less people that enjoy applying it on others – particularly when the ‘others’ happen to be children.

Applying the stuff

Anyone watching our sun tan lotion performance pool side (or anywhere else come to that) will probably need to go for a lie down.It takes that long.

A conservative tot-up would be that about two days of our annual holiday are taken up in family sun cream applications.

Those of you with children will know that if they are very small, they will slide through your hands and leg it.   If you are very unlucky they will scream the resort down.

Those of you with older children will know that there are generally a list of 20 things that your child needs to do first if you mention ‘creaming up’.

If you have a daughter, you will likely hear at least one of the following during the act :

1.  “you didn’t have to put it in my eye”
2. “ouch, stop pulling my hair”
3. “Why do you always have to hurt when you do it”
4. “Stop”

You will see the connection in the following  book title and sun product and realise that the two are not mutually exclusive ……..

Drama Queen & Nivea

If you have applied sun cream correctly, you will probably feel like you have completed your entire menopausals’ worth of sweating in one go and you will also want to go for a lie down with your fellow bathers.

SPF 50 has never been known for its blending qualities after all.  It’s a bit like trying to rub lard into a mirror and expecting it to be smear free.

Sun tan lotion evidence is also problematical for a 9 year old.

I’ve wondered on this holiday whether The Kid is of the age where she should really be doing it herself. This comes with an element of risk in so far as, we are responsible for the welfare and any attendant burn of said kid – the fault will lie clearly in our court irrespective of the applicant.

Hiding and nothing spring to mind and if a little charring occurs, it could potentially bring about the demise of the holiday.

Self-Application

I would liken our beach side shenanigans to that of a travelling circus.  The only difference being that there is no charge to witness our little spectacle and we would probably knock juggling and stilt walking into a tin hat.

Starfish

At this stage, I would like to make it clear that if anyone was offering to put my sun cream on, I would take their hand off and adopt Starfish position immediately.

No complaints from me – not one.

Can I go in now?